I was sent an anecdote that I thought was just classic, and it highlights the fact that some people can’t help themselves, they just need to state the obvious. And you shake your head and wonder at why.
So here it is and unfortunately I cannot give kudos to the originator because I have know idea who it is. But thank you for the chuckle.
At the supermarket, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Meaty Bites Diet again, although I probably shouldn’t because I’d ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 25 kgs before I woke in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV’s in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Meaty Bites and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I’d ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned by the food.
I told her no, it was because I’d been sitting in the middle of the road licking my dick and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.
Stupid bitch…why else would I buy dog food?
Now this brought to mind an incident that happened when Val and I were in Toowoomba the other day. A bus driver drove way to close into the pickup spot, hit the roof of the shelter and knocked the rear view mirror off the bus.
Some guy virtually ran from up the road, over to the driver and said to him ” You drove in a bit too close there mate”.
I just had to say ‘Well I’m sure glad your here, I don’t thing the driver realised that until you told him’.